I finally uploaded the pictures. As you can see, the kids had a great time last weekend. That's about all we did was swim and sit out by the pool. They had movies after dark on a big outdoor screen that we watched as well.
We left Friday afternoon and stopped by Mav's grave on our way out of town. Greg and I had been talking about him the night before - he would've been nine months old on Friday. We took some flowers to his grave and as I was getting ready to place them, Greg brought a blanket out of the truck and spread it over his grave. I had told him the night before that miss him so much I just wanted to lay on his grave, not realizing that he would actually try to arrange that for me. I know it may sound strange, but I just want to be as close to his sweet little body as I can. So, I just lied there with my hand touching the blanket on the ground above where his little chest should have been. I am so blessed to have a husband who listens and tries to help me in the midst of his own grief. After the above scenario and a crying spell, we were on our way to the hotel. I think it did all of us a world of good to get away from the house.
We got back home on Monday and it's been pretty difficult since then. I think with his nine- month-old birthday last week, Father's Day this weekend, and my procedure coming up on the 23rd (which is the day before he died), it's made for an emotional week. I've just had a case of the blahs. I'm trying to focus on all the things I have to be thankful for, but sometimes it's just easier to throw a pity party for myself. I can't help but think about what our other kids were doing at nine months: crawling like crazy, cruising, and Carter had started throwing a ball. I can't help but think about all the things we're missing with Mav. Of course I realize he wouldn't be doing them now even if he was still alive, but I think you get the idea. It's just been hard to smile this week. My old friend insomnia has crept it's way back into the past couple of nights as well. I suppose all of this is to be expected since I'm now a life-long member of the club no one wants to join.
Anyway, my mom and Brown are coming in this weekend. My friend Kristy called today and she and her daughter are coming in next week. It will be nice to have some extra people around to keep my mind occupied. I'm not worried about the procedure, I just hope one of the devices will work. Well, this is probably enough rambling for tonight. Love you all, jc
4 comments:
Hi Juli,
What a touching, loving thing Greg did with the blanket. Of course, it's not silly. I would want to do the same thing. Grief is a weird thing - hits whenever you do and don't expect it...one never knows. I'm sorry for your pain. But I'm so thankful you and the family had a good weekend together.
I am praying for all of you as well as will be thinking about you the day of your surgery. What time is it so I can say a sprecial prayer at that time?
Love,
Sherry
Juli,
I read your blog about searching for the perfect headstone for little Mav. I found a neat web site that has various memorial jewelry, plaques along with head stones. http://www.littleangelsonlinestore.com/index.php
Just thought about you when I saw this. Your blog is very inspiring and my, your children are growing fast.That little Chloe is quite a character with a lot of spunk. My kind of girl! We miss seeing you at the hospital in your flight suit but how nice that you can spend time with your family. Good luck as you start school.
Sincerely,
Carla Hetherington
We were planning on staying at that resort. Did you get a better deal online rather than calling the resort directly? The pool looks like it has sand in it. Is the casino smoke as bad as they say?
Thanks, Sherry. Greg is a sweetie. The procedure should start around 10:30.
Carla, thanks for the link. I'm going to try to get my blog in order sometime this summer and put all my links together. I'll add this one to the list. It was a great site. Yes, Chloe is spunky. I sure miss seeing you all, too. Tell everyone I said hello.
Kay,
You can't even make online reservations for that hotel. The inside does smell like smoke, but our room was supposedly a non-smoking room. It wasn't too bad. The pool was amazing and that's where we spent most of our time. There wasn't sand in the pool. I think it just looks that way because of the way they did the bottom. You might check and see if Great Wolf Lodge in TX has some good deals on their rates. The rooms are neat and the hotel is non-smoking.
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