Baby Maverick

This blog was created to keep family and friends updated on what's going on with the pregnancy, birth, and surgical plan for Maverick. We'll also be able to keep everyone updated during his surgery and recovery and hopefully be able to show you some cute pictures of him, Maddie, Carter and Chloe along the way.

This was the original intent; however, when we started this blog we had no idea the twists and turns our lives would take. Our sweet baby Maverick was born September 12, 2008 with Transposition of the Great Arteries, ASD, and VSD. We expected to have a baby boy to bring home three to four weeks after his surgery. He had numerous complications after his arterial switch and fought through many that would have taken the life from an adult. He passed away February 24, 2009 - without ever coming home.

This blog is now a place I share my feelings, work through the grief, remember Maverick, and try to make sense out of our life without him. I hope in doing so I am giving a name and a face to babies everywhere born with congenital heart defects.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Yesterday, Carter had his award ceremony at school. Maddie and Chloe sat in to watch - I think Maddie just wanted to get out of class! We're so proud of Carter (and the girls, of course). He's been through so much this school year and has really done well, all things considering. I planned on leaving the kids at school after the ceremony - it was held at 11:45 and finished at 12:15. I caved to peer pressure, though. Many of the kids were being checked out, so I checked mine out as well. They both went to friends houses to play and swim. They had a good time.

After the ceremony we were standing in the area with the kids and teachers talking and taking pictures. I saw one little boy walk up to one of Carter's friend's mother and tell her that his parents weren't able to come that day. She looked at him and said,"Aww, what a bummer. Would you like me to take a picture of you?' I didn't hear his response and was involved in another conversation at the time, but I did see him smile really big. I thought, "Wow, what an amazing person. She just made his day." I wondered if I would have even thought to make that offer. It made me think about what's important to my kids. My presence - mentally and physically. It also made me think that small things can truly make a difference in someone else's life. I know that's a bit deep for the second paragraph, but that scenario made me think.

I took Maddie's swimsuit to her at our friend's house. After we left, Chloe and I were alone in the vehicle. I asked her where she wanted to eat. She said, "McDonald's!" I asked her, "Are you sure? Is there anywhere else you'd rather go?" She said, "No." I replied, "Not even Benedict Street?" She squealed, "YES! BEN STWEET!" What a smart girl. Coffee and a cookie are certainly better than a play place any day.

Later in the day I passed two different funeral processions. They really hit me and made my heart hurt. All I could think of was the pain someone else was going through. That really sucks.

When we made it home, I took mail from the mailbox and went to the den where Greg was sitting. I received a big envelope from the University of Southern Alabama. I told Greg who it was from and opened it. It was an acceptance letter to their Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Program. We both teared up. I'm glad I got in, but I know why I'm able to go. In January I was planning on being Mav's personal nurse in the fall. Now I'll be going back to school. It's a bittersweet opportunity, but I'm looking forward to it.

I awoke this morning thinking about PNP school and Mav. I went to a friend's house to help her paint her kitchen one of my favorite colors, red (my other favorites are pink and black). There were three of us and we had some good "girl-time." I took a phone call and for some reason while I was on hold I remembered a dream I had last night. It was disturbing. I've heard it's common to have nightmares after the death of a child, but I hadn't had any bad dreams at all. The dreams I've had about Mav were all good. I haven't evn had any about him since the first week after his death - until last night. It wasn't directly about Maverick, but stop here and skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to hear about it. This is your last chance... I dreamed Greg and I were going to a place to pick out his headstone and we followed a man into a room filled with bassinets all decked out with beautiful bedding. There were rows and rows of them and they were all filled with what appeared to be dead babies. I was bawling in my dream. I went up to look in one and the baby was actually made out of some kind of ceramic. They were all a type of grave marker at this indoor cemetery. Pretty strange. I wonder how my mind fashioned that one.

Oh, if you're wondering, the kitchen looks marvelous.

When we got home today I had a sweet letter in the mail that proves to me God's timing is perfect - even when we don't understand the circumstances surrounding it. Wishing our special friend all the best.

I'll post some pics tomorrow. I need to download my camera. Love you all, jc


Megan said...

Hi I don't know if you know me, but my son was at Medical City recovering from his surgery when you were there...I think. He was born on the same day as Peyton, Patty Payne's daughter. My son also had TGA and I knew of you in the hospital, but I don't think we ever met. I LOVE your post today, I can only imagine the difference it made for that little boy that she took his picture, he had someone to recognize him. It really does show that kids just need us to be there for them. Oh and congrats on getting into nursing school, but I can see how it can be bittersweet. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Bill and Mary said...

Congrats on getting into the NP program! I know you are going to be great at it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Juli,

I'm traveling again, but always read your blog...maybe not everyday but often as I can. Congratulations on being accepted for your Master's. I know you'll do very well.



Anonymous said...

Congrats on being accepted into the nurse practioner program. You will be such an awesome nurse practioner. You are such an awesome nure. Anyway, you are still in my thoughts and prayers. I love you juli


Anonymous said...

Congrats, Juli! Thanks for sharing life in such eloquent, yet ordinary ways. It certainly causes me to get outside my little mental box :-)
Love you,