Baby Maverick

This blog was created to keep family and friends updated on what's going on with the pregnancy, birth, and surgical plan for Maverick. We'll also be able to keep everyone updated during his surgery and recovery and hopefully be able to show you some cute pictures of him, Maddie, Carter and Chloe along the way.

This was the original intent; however, when we started this blog we had no idea the twists and turns our lives would take. Our sweet baby Maverick was born September 12, 2008 with Transposition of the Great Arteries, ASD, and VSD. We expected to have a baby boy to bring home three to four weeks after his surgery. He had numerous complications after his arterial switch and fought through many that would have taken the life from an adult. He passed away February 24, 2009 - without ever coming home.

This blog is now a place I share my feelings, work through the grief, remember Maverick, and try to make sense out of our life without him. I hope in doing so I am giving a name and a face to babies everywhere born with congenital heart defects.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Family, Friends, and Remembering

Wow. It's been awhile. We've been pretty busy. I had lunch with my Mediflight friends in Bricktown on Friday. It was great to see everyone. Saturday, the kids and I went to see my family at my uncle David's house. The kids got to see their cousins they hadn't seen in years. They had so much fun. I enjoyed seeing everyone, too. My dad has three brothers and one sister. All the brothers were there, but my Aunt Jeanne wasn't able to be there (she lives in New Jersey). I got to see my cousin, Michelle. She's a few years older than me. I remember cruising with her one night when we were both at my grandma's house. Fun times... Anyway, we didn't get home until after midnight Saturday night, so we slept in on Sunday.
Kids on the teeter-totter at Uncle David and Aunt Vickie's.

Kid and cousins. Sara (friend), Maddie, Chloe, Noelle, Chelsea, Rachel, and Carter.

Monday we met my stepdad, James, to pick up our nephew, Cooper. He's five. Carter and he have been having a blast. It's taken me a while to learn, but if kids have compatible personalities, it's often easier to have an extra or two around. He and Carter have been playing and staying busy. I've hardly heard a peep - okay, that's a lie - they're boys. I've heard lots of "peeps", but you get what I'm saying.

Monday night my girlfriends and I went out to celebrate July and August birthdays. We went out to eat Italian and ended up staying in the parking lot talking for an hour and a half. I know if someone would have been videoing our parking lot discussions, they would have been a hit on you tube. The girls make me laugh. I really have an amazing group of friends.

I had a few rough days, but the past few have been okay. For me, I have to be busy. I have lots of projects to wrap up before school starts. The kids start Aug. 12, and I start Aug. 18. I've decided to stick with the master's program for now. I'm going to do it full-time and I'll be finished next December (December 2010). That will allow me to get back to work sooner. I can then work on the doctorate program part-time while working.
Yesterday my dad and grandma came to visit with the kids and me. Then my friend, Kim, from Houston came into town. She and her kids stopped by to visit and then we went to get snow cones. She and I were pregnant with our first kiddos at the same time. She got me hooked on blackberry and cream snow cones at that time - yum.

Carter, Maddie, Wil, Carter (yes, two Carters - wouldn't that be funny if they got married someday - Carter and Carter Clark?), Chloe, and our nephew, Cooper.

I've had quite a bit of good advice lately that I'm going to share. When my gran and I were talking the other day while watching the kids play. She told me, "Enjoy them. They'll be grown before you know it." Then I asked her what fun things she did with her kids when they were little. She didn't answer directly, but told me, "I wish I would've done more with them and worried less about my work" referring to work around the house. She's a wise woman.

Late the other evening, I talked to my Aunt Vickie. She lost a baby many years ago. I wish I could remember her exact words, because I've been pondering them since that night. She said something to the effect of, "Let his life make a big impact on yours. It doesn't have to make a big impact on the world." Regardless of what her exact words were, they have stuck with me. I think it's probably normal to want to make something big out of a tragedy like this. I can tell you first-hand, I don't want people to forget about him. She also told me she saw someone the other day and was talking to him. He couldn't figure out how they knew each other and she mentioned my name and he said, "Baby Maverick's mom." I don't know why, but I loved hearing that story. As moms, we're always used to being referred to as "Maddie's mom" or whatever your child's name is mom. I was just glad to be remembered as Maverick's mom. I've seen this poem on the web in many different places, so I'm going to post it here. I thought it would be appropriate for this post. Enjoy.


Remembering

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry.
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending he didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine".
But healing is something ongoing
I feel it will take a lifetime.
~ Elizabeth Dent ~

Love you all, jc


No comments: