Baby Maverick

It's been a bit of a rough day today. I went to the cemetery - I was just missing him so much. My dad and grandmother came down today. They used to come every - every other weekend before Mav. I enjoyed seeing them, but couldn't stop thinking, "The reason they were able to come today was because Mav died." No one was at the hospital, the kids weren't at someone else's house. I've also made dinner twice this week - same reason. It just made me very sad. I know it's not productive to think like that, but it's hard not to. It seems like I'll have some good days and then bad. A friend tells me to expect this for at least the first year.

I usually have no problems sleeping, but lately I haven't been sleeping well. I had a prescription called in for some medicine to help me sleep. Hopefully it will work. Sleep is expensive these days...

The kids are doing well. Maddie and Carter are busy with school and don't seem upset very often. Chloe will bring up, "Maverick died" about every day. She likes to dress her dolls in Mav's clothes. Greg is doing well, he has his moments too, though. I guess all this is to be expected.

I received a call from a friend from church today asking about the breast milk. I was able to put some of it to good use today. There's a mom with a one week old baby who had to be admitted to the hospital for pneumonia - she's been very sick. She is pumping, but is unable to give the breast milk to the baby due to the medications she is on. It makes me feel better that what was meant for Mav is helping another baby and not just going in the trash. Please pray for this mom's recovery.

Wishes for a good week. Love you all - jc