Just a pic of Mav's favorite friends. They're sitting on a table in our living room. I had the hardest time deciding whether or not to leave the monkey with Maverick. It was his favorite and he would always "pet" it when you placed it by his hand. I told Greg I really wanted to keep it, but felt awful for not wanting to leave it with him. Being the sensitive husband that he is, he said "Keep it, it will be better off with us." I'm so glad I did. I've already needed it several times.
Chloe climbed into Mav's crib today. It's full of his things. She got out his little blue "baby uggs" as the nurses called them, and brought them to me to put on her doll. I didn't cry - surprise. I just held them, felt them, inspected them, and smelled them - just to see if I could catch a whiff of his scent (maybe just a hint of it was there). Then I put them on her doll and told her not to lose them. Later she brought me the music box part of his mobile. She wound it up and then started crying and said, "I miss Mav." I said, "I do too, baby. It's okay." and I just held her for awhile.
9 comments:
I'm glad you kept them...they will give you something tangiable to cling to when you need it.
love you
Dejah
Juli,
Ever since I've known you I've been amazed by you. You're so talented, so driven, such a strong person. I think it's great you're thinking about painting again- you have such a gift for seeing the creative side of things. I am so thankful to have you for a friend. And I love that you are still writing on your blog.
Love, Amy
It is odd that I can't figure out what is the right thing to say. My family was in this exact same position about four years ago. What was helpful to me was often not helpful to my husband. That is still the case. Everyone grieves in different ways. I don't know you, Julie. I met you once at a birthday party for a mutual friend's child. It was shortly before Maverick was born. I have thought of you often since then and prayed for your family as others have passed news on. I'll keep praying. Four years after my own loss, I am sure of one thing...God is faithful.
The toys were special to Mav and that makes them special to you. I'm glad to see you expressing your emotions. I know how long it takes to feel better. You are dealing with it the best way possible. Keep talking and sharing. Pat
I came upon your blog after seeing your story in the News Star and I read the entire thing from beginning to now. I cannot even begin to understand the pain you and your family are dealing with. I am a mother as well and although I can't completely understand, I know the pain of simply being a mother. Your little Mav is an angel. Your other children are really strong, lovely children. I have been praying for you and your family and will continue to do so. May God Bless you.
I'm glad you are blogging. I wasn't sure if you still were when I checked it today. Now maybe I can tell how you are without having to always ask and annoy you. I'm sure Chloe will love having your attention while the kids are in school.
Love ya, Lu Anne
I hope you enjoy your day with Chloe. You are each in my prayers. We love you guys. -gordona
hi, juli:
you are a hero to moms everywhere.
God bless you.
love, rebekah aldrich
(your neighbor across the street :)
Juli and family,
I too have been wanting to post a comment but none of the words sound right. Nothing could make this journey any easier. I still check your blog daily and think of you, your family and Mav everday. I can't imagine the pain and loss you are experiencing. I will continue to pray for you and your family and hope that God will one day help to ease the pain. Hug and kiss those kiddos! God bless, Terin M.
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